Getting Clear on Your Special "Ingredients"
One thing that I have come to really appreciate during quarantine is the privilege of making lunch for my family in the afternoon.
This is a very different experience than the rage and loathing I felt about lunch PACKING for many years. Lunch-packing was either a late-night chore or mad pre-dawn scramble (while likely yelling at one child to brush their teeth and the other to get dressed). #dontmissit
This new routine of lunch prep has evolved very organically. It is for me, honestly one of the sweetest parts of my day. On most days I can make and deliver food to each of my kids and husband, at their places of work throughout our home. It engages some of my favorite mothering instincts.
We usually have sandwiches, and because I have now made 20,000 of them, I have discovered each person's signature sandwich.
Today as I got out 3 different loaves of bread and the rest of the ingredients to build my family's favorite hand-held lunch, it made me think of what makes up each of us - and how we carry ourselves in our work and in the world.
Often people come to me for coaching because they want to improve an aspect of their work or how they relate to others. They may share their self-criticism or feedback they have received about what isn’t working and why they are not good (or as good as they want to be) at an aspect of their work, communication, or relationships.
Unfortunately, most of us have been taught a bunch of screwed up thinking when it comes to how to build success and confidence. A common one is Fake It Til You Make It. I HATE this advice. First of all, if you fake it til you make it, what are you when you make it? ... A FAKER.
But even if you are not faking who you are or how you act, it is still very common that the tools and skills that got you where you are may need updating to get where you want to go. But that doesn't necessarily mean YOU need changing. Ugh there's so much weird, bad advice that puts people in their HEAD instead of IN THE ROOM.
What is ALWAYS fun and exciting for me is to see how quickly people can make major leaps NOT by forcing yourself to be something other than what you are, but by leaning into and embracing what is uniquely YOU. Your voice, your story, your talents, your quirky interests, your offering. When you can connect with others and share yourself from a place of authenticity and clarity - people will be engaged and you will have WAY more fun.
So the next time you find yourself getting critical or maybe a little anxious about an opportunity, think about all the great ingredients that make up you and play with the idea that bringing more of who you are is EXACTLY what will make it a success.