Good News About That Thing That's Driving You Nuts
About once a year my daughter and I pull out a collection of vintage and costume jewelry I inherited from my grandmother and we "ooh and ahh" as we share stories about family.
Today, as we were appreciating some of the lovely real (and faux) pearls, I got to thinking about the great relationship oysters have to the things that bug them.
Oysters understand that if an irritant is present...a pearl is coming.
There isn’t anyone I know that feels like everything in their life right now is exactly the way they want it to be.
Nope. The people I work and play with are folks that are looking to create bigger, bolder visions of their life and work OR transform their EXPERIENCE of what they have so that it feels more (...intentional, peaceful, focused, fun).
The thing is, most of us are acutely aware of the thing(s) that DON’T look or feel the way we want them to. But having that awareness doesn’t always propel us into action...more often it may propel us into avoidance.
You might think the greatest thing to happen to you would be for the thing that’s driving you nuts to just disappear. But if it did, you might just miss out on a really great opportunity.
Where in your life do you find yourself avoiding discomfort or complaining about an ongoing issue? Maybe it’s something that feels like it is happening TO YOU, such as a lack of initiative by someone on your team (or in your family), or maybe it’s something far more personal like you know you are great at DOING your job, but you suck at talking about it.
Tell the truth, you can think of at least one thing that is bugging you right now, can’t you? (if not, turn on the news or go read your Facebook feed and then get back to me)
Unfortunately, the things that irritate us can stay in “problem” status for much longer than we would like to admit before we do something about it. Know anyone in your life that has been repeating the same complaint to you for months or YEARS? ...Are they in your head?
So let’s take some wisdom from the oyster.
We all know that oysters turn irritants (fun fact: usually a parasite or fragment of shell, not a grain of sand) into pearls. Some might use the analogy that GRIT (mental toughness) = PEARL. Not this gal.
Mental toughness is fine, but it’s not my favorite tool. Instead, I prefer having a friendly, ongoing conversation with myself about what needs attention and where I can grow. Because I believe if you really want to stop feeling frustrated by something that’s not working, then you have to listen to the invitation it’s offering.
With that in mind, I have a few questions to help identify what PEARL your pain might be trying to give you:
⚪️What is irritating you, creating stress or frustration?
⚪️What might this be telling you needs attention?
⚪️What might need to change (or what needs YOU to change) to resolve it?
⚪️What strength do you need to grow or develop to master this?
Oysters don’t opt-out of discomfort the way we human beings often try to. If they did, we would never get their lovely pearls.
The next time you're confronted with a recurring frustration, take a few minutes to be curious about what strengths, skills, or actions would resolve it - and consider how great it would feel to master that.
If you do, you might just find a great big pearl of WISDOM/GROWTH/ACCOMPLISHMENT in your life and maybe even transform the thing that is driving you nuts into something you love.